For the past few months, I have been trying to figure out what my passion is and the direction I want to take this blog. As I finally figured it out, the fear set in – the fear of failure, the fear of the unknown, and more than anything, the fear of my message being misunderstood and misconstrued. I look back and wonder, at what point did it all change?
Remember when you were little, back when you believed you could fly, that you could be anything you dreamed, and you had all the confidence in the world. At what point did we stop believing that we could do and be anything, achieve personal and professional success, and essentially have it all? At what point did we start to look in the mirror, doubt, and pick ourselves apart?
Life is hard. I have been in situations that I should have got out of faster and let people affect me when I wish I was stronger, and just let it go in one ear and out the other. I have spent years trying to get my self-esteem and confidence back. It is an every day battle, but each day, each little bit, my days become brighter.
I hear women constantly put themselves down and tear themselves apart. I have been there. When you are torn down and at your lowest it is so hard to look in that mirror and see that you are beautiful, that you are amazing, to see that little girl with all of her confidence. She is still there!
Getting your confidence back is not easy and is always a work in progress and I want to be here to help in every way possible for women to see that you are beautiful. I will never sit here and say that I have amazing self-esteem, that I don’t still have those moments wear I wonder what it would be like if I lost another 20 lbs, if my arms were more toned, and any other ridiculous thing I can pick out.
The trick is realizing that it is okay to have bad days, it is normal. You will have those days, but the days where you realize that you are beautiful in your own way, when you stop comparing yourself to others, that thought of what you think you should look like, those days are amazing.
This is where my fear really set in. I am going to have to open up and share details and parts of my life that I have never shared before. But, if I can help one person get out of that rut, that negative spiral that I was in for years, then this will all be worth it.
I will travel on my path to gain my self-confidence back to where I once was and I hope you all will join me. My first challenge for myself was to post a full body picture – as I am, no filter, and no edits – and to finally look at it with love, acceptance and positivity.
Taking the picture was not the hard part. I actually closed my eyes. It was looking at it and stopping the negative thoughts and fear, and forcing myself to show it to at least three people. To my amazement, those people were nothing but supportive, loving, and guess what…excited for me. My fears were in my own head. They pushed me to finish my goal and post it on my blog, and I will be ever thankful for that. So here it goes…
Always remember that confidence is more than looks; it is believing in yourself. For me, this was one of the hardest things for me to do, which is why it was my first step to getting the “old me” back and finding that courage, spirit, and fearlessness I once had!
I challenge you to do the same. This may be the challenge for you, it may not, but think about one thing that scares you and do it. I hope this post reaches you with all the positivity and hope that I intended. Remember that the confidence you had when you were 5 is still there! GO FIND IT!!
Contact me and let me know what your challenge is – good luck and lots of love!